Flaming hot!!

Well, I finally did it. I set the microwave on fire. On the way home from work yesterday, I got a craving for some popcorn. I looked around in the pantry when I got home and found an unopened box of Orville Redenbacher's popcorn. Upon closer inspection, I realized that it was just a tad old. The box said "Best by Nov 2010." I did some quick math and decided that 6 or 7 months overdue can't be that bad. It was not like it said "You must use by Nov 2010 or else or risk severe illness." It looked OK and did not smell funny or anything so I threw it in the microwave, set the timer for 2 minutes, and walked out onto the back patio to move the sprinkler in the yard. The next thing I knew, black smoke was coming out the back door and the bag of popcorn was flaming!!! The smell was horrible!!! Boy does burnt popcorn stink! I actually used to work with somebody who burnt her popcorn on purpose because she liked the taste. Nasty!!! We all hated her for it because the stink always clung to your hair and skin the minute she took the bag out of the oven. You could be on the other side of the building and you could still get the stink on you. She finally got summoned in by Human Resources and they had a nice long talk with her that finally put an end to it. Back to the flaming microwave..... the entire inside was scorched and it smelled so bad it took my breath away. I threw it out the back door and turned on the exhaust fan. The microwave was in one of the pantries so the smell is super concentrated in there and got onto all of our dish towels and left a scorched coating on all of the shelves and canned goods. If I have to repaint the walls in there, I am going to be super pissed. Fuck! I had to go to Sears today and buy a new microwave. $165 down the drain.