Thursday, December 23, 2010

Twas the night before the night before Christmas.....

The week in review....

1. On my first day of vacation, I forgot to turn off my alarm and I was cheerfully greeted by blaring Christmas music at 5am. Christmas music at 5 am sucks, especially when I have been meaning to change the station for the last 3 and a half weeks but have just been too lazy. See what procrastinating does for you?
2. I have been on a total crap eating extravaganza which I foresee continuing on through at least Sunday. Truffles? Check! Banana bread? Check! Chik-fil-a? Check! Chinese food? Check! And that was just today!!!! Tis the season you know.....
3. I did not put the tree up until Sunday. I almost did not put it up at all because I have just been so busy but guilt got to me and I did. I did not get around to putting down the Christmas tree skirt or wrapping any presents, again due to being too busy, but apparently there was a reason. On Tuesday morning, I walked into the living room to find water gushing out of the hot water closet and onto the living room floor. Guess what is right next to the water gushing closet? Ding ding ding! If you guessed the Christmas tree you get 5 points!!! Thank God there were no presents under it. How badly would that have sucked?!? Home Depot got a sizable chunk of change from us that day for a new water heater.
4. I actually went into Katy Mills Mall today and survived, The new Victoria's Secret there is pretty nice by the way. I am officially done shopping except for a few stocking stuffers. Yea!!!
5. For some some strange reason, I can't get the Mickey Mouse Club theme song out of my head. It is driving me crazy!!!!!! Join the madness!!!
That about sums it all up. I am ready for Christmas but I am also looking forward to actually relaxing next week before I have to go back to work.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Crown molding was invented by the devil.

The guest bedroom is nearly completed. I have been working on it for over a year. I know, I know..... how the hell has it taken a whole year to remodel one measly room? Life has just gotten in the way. You get home from work and are just too tired, your friends/family want you to do something with them, you lose interest..... blah, blah, blah. About a month ago I forced myself to get back on track and it was time to focus, focus, focus!! A big part of the problem is that I am a perfectionist and a daydreamer so I will strive to get something 100% correct and then I will have to stop and admire my work for half and hour. Believe me, you don't get much done that way.
Now, all that is left is the crown molding and the floor. The floor will be left to the professionals but the crown molding we will do ourselves. If you have never installed crown molding, lets just compare it to solving a difficult math problem that involves power tools and carrying a long piece of wood up and down the stairs and then climbing a ladder over and over until you get the correct fit. Have I mentioned how much I suck at math? I am exhausted. The room is only half way finished and I know I went up and down those stairs 30 times. It is looking good though and is worth the effort. Hopefully I can have it pretty much finished by tomorrow. I think I will go take a nice long hot shower now.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010


1. Why does Taylor Swift annoy the hell out of me?
2. Why did I just eat an entire jumbo cinnamon roll?
3. Why do I have so many bottles of nail polish and why do I keep buying more?
4. Why can't I find a tube of clump free smudge free mascara that can actually stay put in Houston's 99.9% humidity?
5. Why do I punish myself by continually looking at when I know I am on a self imposed shoe suspension?
6. Why do I bother looking at news websites? Since when is the winner of Dancing With The Stars important news????
7. Why is it so fucking hot and humid on the day before Thanksgiving? I am just not feeling the holiday spirit. The last thing I want to hear about is how one of my friends just finished putting up all 6 fully decorated Christmas trees in her house. I will be lucky to put up one.
8. Why am I so bitter?

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!

Friday, November 12, 2010

Tivo lives on

I have always joked with family and friends about my love affair with Tivo. Seriously. I never watch live television anymore. To be honest, I don't watch that much television at all. But I do have my little "to do" list of shows that I watch religiously (commercial free of course!!) I have tried other DVRs at friends and families houses but they all annoy me. Tivo is my friend. I can operate the remote one handed and in the dark with my hand behind my back. My remote is so old that all of the writing on the keys is gone. If you don't know what the keys do...then you are just SOL. When I found out that Directv was bringing back Tivo I was ecstatic. Their current DVR system sucks big time and I refuse to purchase one. I know my ancient Tivo box has a limited life span and I have been worried about replacing it ever since it started rebooting on its own every couple of days about a month ago. Well, last night it seized up big time and for the first time ever I got the green screen of death that said "Severe Error." WTF? Severe error? That did not sound good! There was a message on the screen that said not to reboot or unplug the unit and to just leave the box on for at least 3 hours to see if the system could "repair" itself. They also included a 1-800 number to call if it did not come back to life. Of course, being my father's daughter, I did unplug and reboot the system about 4 times before I gave up and decided I was screwed. I am not ashamed to admit that I was freaking out just a little. What about America's Next Top Model? Pawn Stars? Kendra? Top Chef Just Desserts? Breathe in- Breathe out. Serenity now. I then proceeded to stay up until 1 in the morning on the computer trying to figure out what my options were. I learned that they are many, many, forums devoted to the worship of TIVO and that these people are hardcore. I basically had 4 options. First- Go without TV until next year when the new Directv Tivo launches. Not an option. Second- Buy a used system off of ebay and take my chances that it will even work. Third- Attempt to replace the hard drive in the unit with a newer shinier version. Fourth- Fork out close to $400 bucks for a reconditioned unit with a warranty from a reputable seller. All of these choices sucked. I wanted my old Tivo back!!!!!! All of my recorded shows that I had never watched were lost. I still had not gotten around to watching the first 6 episodes of Housewives of Beverly Hills. And what about Vanilla Ice? I wanted to see which room he was going to work on next. And my collection of The Antonio Project? I had been saving those for a cold rainy day. I went to bed in a daze and had horrible Tivo induced nightmares. The worst one was where I was in an operating room trying to perform a "hard drive" replacement. When I woke up in the morning I felt a little groggy and depressed. Right before I left for work I turned on the TV to write down the 1-800 just so that I could call them and verify my options before I made any rash decisions. Hallelujah! Praise the Lord! The green screen of death was gone and there was an infomercial on for the Abomatic or something stupid like that. I actually screamed with joy over the amazing sight of my Tivo having healed itself. It was a miracle! If only it can just keep on going until next Spring, all will be good. I am a true nerd.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

We are only here to protect you from your own stupidity

I bought a couple of new towels today. After removing about a bazillion tags from them before throwing them into the washer, I stopped to read the care tag before selecting the water temp. and wash setting. It was actually a miracle that there were written instructions in a language that I could understand. Have you looked at the majority of care tags, especially on clothes, lately? They now use only symbols to tell you how you should care for your washables. Like we have time to study and remember this type of information? The stupid part is that the "master list" of clothing care symbols is not something that your average person has floating around in their brain. Perhaps they are teaching this stuff in school now? I actually had to go online and look up what these symbols mean. A couple of them are pretty easy to figure out, like the one that obviously means no ironing or no machine wash. But since when does a triangle mean the international sign for bleach? And how am I supposed to know that 1 dot = 30 degrees Celsius and 6 dots = 95 degrees Celsius? Argghhhh!!!!!

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Jury Duty

I got a summons last Tuesday for jury duty today. They don't give you much time do they? I figured it was karma biting me in the butt because one of my friends got picked a couple of weeks ago and I laughed at him. Actually, I don't mind jury duty. It is a privilege that we live in a country that allows us to participate in the legal system and I think that a lot of people forget that. It would never even occur to me to "not" go. Just like voting... I will never understand why people do not vote when given the opportunity.
Thank God I live out in the country in a small county. It is easy to get to the courthouse, parking is free, and there are no long lines to wait in. If I had to go down to the Harris County courthouse in Houston and sit around for 7 years with all the other people waiting for jury duty.... I might have different feelings about it. The only bad thing about jury duty is that I ALWAYS get picked. ALWAYS!!!! They never even ask me any personal questions during the selection process outside of the basic name, age, and occupation. They just pick me. I guess that is a small town for you. If they really wanted to know my political and religious views they might have second thoughts about putting me up there because opionated is my middle name. Child of a Catholic and Jewish household with very vocal conservative yet occasionally extremely far to the left views anyone? Probably not...... Anyways, I show up and was juror number 203 which is good considering they only summon 250. I would say only about 40 people showed up and I ended up in the last row in the courtroom with only 2 people after me so I felt I had a fighting chance to not be chosen...... until I started looking around at some of the potential jury members. Yep, I was going to be called. There were some real "unusual" looking characters in this group and they would be shown the door quickly.
The judge entered the courtroom and gave us a little speech about what an honor it was to serve, yada yada yada....... and that he had good news and bad news. The good news was that we had all made it on time and that he was glad we were here. The bad news was that we had all made it on time, were here, and that the case had been settled outside of court 15 minutes earlier. Bad news my ass!!!! YIIIPPPEEEEEEEEE! We all looked at each other like "Thank God!!!!" and scurried out into the beautiful sunny day. No jury duty and a paid day off from work. Score!!!!!!!

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Cheap thrills

I did not know that you could even buy a song on itunes for 69 cents!!!! Well worth it!!! I just love this song and I had forgotten all about it until I heard it on the 70's station on Sirius this morning. My parents were really into music and I think I heard almost every 70's and some 60's songs growing up as a kid. I think there is just a small streak of granola hippie lurking inside me somewhere.

Saturday, October 2, 2010


I stopped in Hobby Lobby tonight to pick up a few extra touches for my Halloween decor when I overheard an interesting conversation. I was looking at some Halloween themed cupcake liners when this child (who looked to be 8 or 9), her mother, and I am guessing her grandmother stopped near me to admire some Halloween tchotchkes. The little girl told her mother that they were not allowed to bring Halloween treats to school or say "Trick or Treat"
or else they would be sent to the Principal's office. What the fucking fuck????????? The grandmother gave the child a horrified look and the mother kind of just stood there a minute with this disgusted look on her face and said "I have no further comment on their policy towards Halloween (apparently, judging by the look on her face, she had probably already had plenty to say about this already) but I am giving you permission to tell your teachers and your principal that we do not say "Happy Holidays" at Christmas time. We celebrate Christmas and by God you will wish people "Merry Christmas" and not "Happy Holidays. You are not being raised to become one of "THEM." You are to stand up for what is right and not be afraid of offending anybody." I wanted to start clapping and cheer her on but I settled for walking up to her and telling her how refreshing it was to hear what she had just said. I definitely do not want to be one of "THEM" either. I hate hearing "Happy Holidays" as well. Say Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa or Merry Whateverthefuckitisyoucelebrate!!!!!! Just stand up for what you believe in and stand proud. As for this whole Halloween business that the little girl was talking about? Just one more reason why any child of mine would not set foot in the public school system.

Monday, September 27, 2010

A Dog's Life

A Dog's Life, originally uploaded by "Lah-Rah".

The hardest part of giving your heart to a pet is when you have to say goodbye. Tears.......... How can 14 years go by so quickly? Rest In Peace Bricki. May your new life be filled with plenty of new balls to chase, an unlimited supply of Milkbones, and a soft bed to relax on. I miss you!!!!

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Uh oh.....

I got my license in the mail today and let me tell you that it is even worse in color. My face is splotchy from the heat stroke, I am completely make-up free, and my hair is in a semi-poof. Crap!!! I don't expect a license picture to look like a glamour shot but I do expect to look semi-presentable. This looks like something from one of those "Celebrities that look like hell in real life without their makeup" articles. Look at this before picture of Renee Z. and multiply the yikes factor times 3 and you will get an idea of what my picture looks like. I figure that sometime this winter, I will choose a cold, dry day and get a re-do because no way am I going to pull that hideous picture out every time I need to show an ID. No frickin way!!!!

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Bad Shoe Day

For the second day in a row, I have stepped in dog poo on the way to work. It must have been camouflaged because I sure as heck did not see it and I avoid all dew covered grass on my way to the car. To make things worse, today I was wearing brand new fresh out of the box shoes. Yuck. I managed to get most of it off in the parking lot at work but still, total bummer. Except for the poo remnants that were clinging to to small ridges on the underside of my shoes, I really enjoyed wearing them. They were comfy, squishy, and looked pretty damn good. I had a few errands to run after work and on the drive to the store, I was thinking that the right shoe felt a little loose. Halfway through my shopping, I started to think that the right shoe felt a lot loose. As in "about to go flying off my foot" loose. I looked down and the tiny strap holding it on had snapped in half. In half!!!!!! Crappy shoes!!!! I had to cut my errands short and do a weird Frankenstein like shuffle to the register and out to my car. No way was I doing a Britney Spears and going barefoot in public. The shoes were not returnable because I ordered them online and no longer had the box.I did go online to rate the shoes and I basically said they were crap. Surprisingly someone else had a similar experience. I will definitely not be buying a pair of Franco Sarto shoes again because Franco Sarto shoes are not worth the money and did I mention that Franco Sarto shoes suck? Because they do. Even without the poo.

Friday, August 27, 2010

A Sad Story.......

I live in a small rural area outside of Houston. Each day I drive past a house in the middle of a nearby small town that has two precious miniature horses and an ancient old donkey living in their pasture. 8 years of driving by these little guys several times a day. I always look for them as I drive by. Their pasture backs up to the side of a three way stop in the middle of the town. Chances are that if you have ever driven from Austin or from an A&M back to Houston, you may have seen them too. They were a sort of landmark of cuteness. Last weekend I noticed that the donkey was missing. not a good sign.The next day I saw one of the little horses laying flat out underneath a tree. If you have ever been around horses, you can tell when it is not a good sign to see a horse on the ground. They are not always just taking a nap. This was not a good sign. The little miniature was gone the next time I drove by. This afternoon, we saw the property owner out in her yard trimming the trees, so we stopped to inquire about her horse and her donkey. She said she was sitting on her couch about 10 o'clock on Saturday night when she heard a terrible noise in their yard. She and her husband ran outside to find a car full of no good drunk sons of a bitches in the middle of her pasture. They took one look at her and her husband and took off, abandoning their car, and jumped into a car that had pulled over down the street. Apparently the donkey and the little horse had been right in the car's path and it had plowed right over them. The donkey died instantly and the little horse had to be put down the next day. I am just disgusted. How horrible!!! The man and woman called the cops and they were able to find out who owned the car. They told the cops that they thought they had run over a tree. Sure they did. There is not a single tree in that pasture. It is bad enough that they killed those innocent little creatures but thank God they did not hit another car when they plowed through that three way stop without slowing down. Bastards!!!!

Thursday, August 26, 2010


How can you not love these?
Too cute!!!!! You can get them at my favorite shoe store.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Hell and back........

I personally visited Hell, otherwise known as the Texas DMV and barely survived to tell about it. It was beyond bad. You know how people always joke about the lines at the DMV? Well, I have been in lines at the DMV before and while they were a pain in the butt.... I am a patient person and they were not too excruciating. I think the longest I have ever waited was maybe 2 hours, in the air conditioning, and that was on the South Side of San Antonio on a not so nice side of town where nobody spoke English and everybody and their seven cousins were in line for a driver's license or a state ID card. I thought waiting in that line had made me tough and seasoned...but apparently I was wrong.

You may remember my fear of failing the vision test (and I may or may not have downloaded a cheat sheet off of the Internet, but we won't discuss how stupid of an idea that was).....well, I never made it to the eye doctor. I have been so busy lately that time has just gotten away from me. I had to pull out an old pair of glasses that I have had for like a million years and I was just hoping for the best. Due to my fear of failing the test and thus looking like a fool and possibly having to bum rides from people until I could get to the eye doctor because yes, I am a big law abiding chicken and if I even thought about driving with an expired license, it would be my luck I would be hauled off to jail where upon I would just die right on the spot. Whew! Broke a lot of grammatical rules with that sentence!!!

Anyway, I put it off until the last possible minute and managed to take a day off from work to go get it renewed. I looked online to find the closest DMV office and everything within a 30 mile radius was "temporarily closed due to budget issues and the need for new equipment." Great! I had a choice between going into the inner hell of Houston or staying out in the country and driving about 30 miles north. I got up early and carefully applied my makeup and straightened the hell out of my hair so it would look decent because damn it, I did not want to have a crappy driver's license picture. When I got there, about 9:30, the line was out the door and ALLLLLLLL THE WAY AROUND THE BUILDING. Apparently since all of the local offices have been closed... this one is the closest one available to the zillions of people who live out in the sticks like me.

I stood in line and stood there some more, in the same spot, for almost an hour. I estimated that there were about 40 people in line in front of me which is not too bad I guess, but based on my calculations and the rate at which people were coming out, I was in trouble. They were only processing people at the rate of about 6 per hour. You do the math.... it was not looking good. Basically, I stood out in the full sun until about 3 o'clock. Did I mention that this is Houston? The armpit of the world where the heat index has been hovering around 108 degrees and the humidity is about 99.9%? Did I also mention that I was wearing jeans and a heavy cotton shirt that was sucking the life out of me with each passing minute that I stood there? I seriously thought that heat stroke was imminent. Seriously. I kept telling myself that I was not going to pass out and die in front of a bunch of strangers. No way!!!
At one point, some wonderful man went to his car and came back with an umbrella and offered it to me. He was at the back of the line and was still in the shade so he did not need it yet. Nice people do still exist!! I am not sure if I was delusional at that point but I swear that the man looked like Ed Begley Jr. It could have been his twin brother. That whole chunk of time is a little fuzzy but I do remember finally making it to the back door, giving my umbrella back to old Ed, and squeezing my way into the tiny, tiny space that was barely available right inside the door.

There was only room for about 6 people inside the building but luckily there was air conditioning. Wonderful, wonderful air conditioning!!! After getting inside the door, I grabbed my mirror out of my purse to inspect the damage to my hair and makeup, and there I was greeted with the sight of all of my mascara and eyeliner having slid onto my cheeks. I looked like I had been out all night and had woken up without washing my face. Lovely!!! My hair was now a giant poof ball of frizz. Guess what? I no longer cared. I wiped off most of the remains of my makeup, swiped my hair with a brush and said fuck it. I just wanted to get it over with and go home.

I finally get to the first desk and the lady asks me to step over to the eye exam machine and read line 4. I looked into the machine and saw total blackness. Great! Now I was in serious trouble. I was blind. I finally realized you had to press your forehead against the machine to activate it. My first thought was Gross! How many people have used this and how often do they clean it? My second thought was oh shit... these were numbers, I had memorized letters. I guess it does not pay to attempt to cheat. Thought three was that I could not read line four. Finally, after what seemed like 5 minutes... I was able to squint and make out the numbers, or at least what I thought they were. I yelled out 4 6 8 3 4 5 9 and she stamped my card and sent me to wait in the next line. There is no way I got those right. She must have taken pity on my poofy hair and sunburned face. Finally I am about two people away from the last part of the process. All I needed was my fingerprints taken, my picture done, and to pay when dum da da dum. THE FREAKING COMPUTERS SHUT DOWN AND THEY CAN"T GET THEM REBOOTED!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOO! All I am thinking is Hell No am I doing this again!!! I passed the eye test for cripes sake. Odds are I would not be lucky twice!!!!! After about 30 minutes of going back and forth with the help desk, they were able to get the system up and running. I got through the rest of the line, had my picture taken, and GOT THE HELL OUT OF THERE. They give you a paper copy to use that has your picture on it but I did not get to get a good look at it until I got to my car. My picture looks like the female version of Bret Michaels..... minus the bandanna. I kid you not! Fucking Bret Michaels! Are you kidding me???? Crap!!! I folded the paper into a teeny, tiny square and told myself I would worry about it later. Serenity Now!!!!!!

I honestly was not feeling well so I broke my no fast food rule and went to Jack In The Box (my only other choice was McDonalds) and ordered a large orange soda and a grilled chicken sandwich. That soda was almost gone before I even left the parking lot. I swear there was steam coming out of my throat as I guzzled it down. I don't recommend drinking that much orange soda at once. I almost barfed. I get halfway down the road when I pull out my sandwich and I found they had given me some 12 pound super burger with onions only. Kill me now! Damn you JITB!!!! I did not order that crap!!!!! That is when I looked at my receipt and saw they had charged me 8 bucks for something I know I did not order!!!! Story of my life!!! I did gag down about three bites of the burger since it was either that or nothing. Lesson learned. never put getting your driver's license off until the last minute.... and avoid JITB. Serenity Now!!!!!!

Sunday, July 4, 2010

If I were a boy........

my parents were going to name me William Douglas.....just sayin....... Is it only women that get the meaning of this song? Wondering.....

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Is it so wrong.....

that I want...... no, make that .."must have" one of these..... NOW!!!!! I am such a girl.

Cry Baby

I finally went to see Toy Story 3....... by myself. Why did I go by myself you ask? Because every adult I know, both male and female, has admitted to bawling like a baby at this movie. I am not a public cryer so I grabbed myself some snacks and went to a late night showing and cryed my eyes out in semi-privacy. It is a great movie if you have not seen it. But be warned... you will cry, unless you are heartless and have no soul.

Friday, July 2, 2010

So I was wrong.......

we are now under water. I am sure the pecan trees are loving it though and I won't have to water the grass and plants for at least a week. No outside plans this weekend. We will have to move the 4th of July festivites indoors. Happy 4th of July everybody!!!!

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Oreo Koi

Oreo Koi, originally uploaded by "Lah-Rah".

I don't know why I love this little guy so much. I took this at the Japanese Water Garden in San Antonio awhile back. I would love to find one with these markings to put in my pond.

Cone of Uncertainty = Job Security

Hurricane remnants in Houston???? My Ass!! We got all of two drops of rain... maybe 4 at the most. What a bust! Crap! I now have to water the grass and plants......oh well. Now you know why people don't evacuate or prepare when a real disaster is bearing down upon them. They have been lied to over and over and just don't believe "them" anymore. We still have a 50 percent chance of rain over the next two days so I am holding out some hope for a shower or two. Of course, you have to consider that the 90 percent chance of rain yielded the four drops so I am not holding my breath.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Something in the air.....

is different. It is definitely the calm before the storm. Although the "experts" are saying we will probably just get a bunch of rain dumped on us (which we desperately need).... you can just feel the impending hurricane out there. The sky looks ominous, the air pressure feels different, and it is too quiet outside. No cicadas, no frogs, no birds. A friend of mine nearer to the coast said the fire ants were busy moving from mound to mound outside his house which is always a sign of a storm coming up. We will just wait and see... I try to always be prepared this time of year..... fresh batteries, gas cans are full in case we need a generator, tanks are topped off on all the cars, and the pantry is full. Hopefully we won't see too much wind, but the rain is welcome. I love a good night time storm. The sound of rain on the roof = a good nights sleep. Trees falling through the roof would be a whole other story.......

Monday, June 28, 2010

Sometimes it is better when you don't know it is coming....

My sister called me yesterday all in a panic. Apparently she had been rear ended by a a guy going about 60 mph. Most people who are rear ended at 60 mph probably don't live to talk about it but someone must have been looking down upon her and gave her a free pass. She was driving on a country road out in Bastrop when she came across a large piece of farm equipment slowly crawling down the road. She had slowed way down and was getting ready to pass it when a driver coming from behind at a high rate of speed, tried to pull around her and the farm equipment while my sister had already pulled out and had started to pass. She said the next thing she knew, she had spun around several times and had landed in a ditch going the opposite direction she had been going. The guy driving the other car told the police that he never even saw her. He got a ticket and apparently the police read him the riot act. Since my sister did not even see it coming, she was not all tense and expecting the crash so she came out of it with a few minor bumps and bruises. Juan (her car) was not in such great shape. He was smashed pretty bad but still able to hobble from the scene of the accident and make it to her house. Poor Juan!!!! Thank God everybody else was ok.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Please make it stop!!!

I should have never put this song on my ipod!!! I keep hearing it everywhere I go and I can't make it stop. Help!!!!!!!

California girls We're undeniable Fine, fresh, fierce We got it on lock West coast represent Now put your hands up Oooooh Oh Oooooh

Monday, June 7, 2010

No patience...

I had an appointment at the dermatologist's office this morning to have a few things looked at and zapped off. I actually got there about 30 minutes early but I figured that I would have some forms to fill out so being early would probably be a good idea. When I entered the waiting room, I quickly realized I was the only person under 65 there. I signed in, took a seat, took out my book that I had brought with me and prepared to wait. No big deal. At about 9:20, this woman gets up and marches to the receptionist's window and demands to know when she is going to be able to see the doctor. She had a 9:15 appointment and she had been sitting there for 5 whole minutes!!!!5 whole minutes people!!!!! She had to be kidding!! Did she really expect that she would be in there at "exactly" 9:15??????? The woman finally blew a gasket and said she was leaving. I was laughing internally the whole time at how stupid this lady looked and the receptionist looked like she wanted to karate chop her down to size. I just don't understand people like this. I can only imagine what type of driver she must be. Had she just waited a couple of minutes longer, she would have been able to see the doctor and would have saved herself the effort of having to drive all the way back out there and waiting for a new appointment. Her little hissy fit benefited me though because I was bumped up and I was in and out of there before my original appointment time even came around. Ha! Some people, I swear!!!!!!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Rednecks Rule!!!

Keep this one going!!!!!

Friday, May 14, 2010

Dear Sun Chips.....

Your new bags annoy the crap out of me. First of all they are way too loud. Seriously. Sometimes you just don't want to be reminded by a loud crackly noise every time you keep reaching for more chips. It is comparable to a fingernails on the blackboard type of noise. Maybe I should list this as a positive point because the bag is actually helping to remind you that you really don't need these chips in the first place. Second, the bags just plain feel weird. It feels like somebody has wrapped your chips in a present or something. It kind of creeps me out knowing that the protective covering over my chips could potentially disintegrate at any moment..... not that it could really happen, but still......Third, I think you are possibly participating in false advertising. To your average consumer, you make it sound like the bag is simply going to disappear in the local town dump after a few weeks have passed. You have to read between the lines to get the message that the consumer is expected to go put it in their compost heap and layer it with soil so that all the little microbes, the sun , and rain can make it disappear. You are sneaky like that Sun Chips.... really sneaky!

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

It is now official

I am a complete nerd!!!! Love!!!!!! What fun!!!!!! It contains all of my favorites: the outdoors, exploring, exercise, travel, puzzles, and potential danger.

Friday, April 23, 2010

This would be my cue to leave.......

It always amazes me to see people driving towards a tornado when it is so obviously right in front of them. In this video, watch the cars headed towards the tornado and then all of the sudden, they put on their brakes like "Maybe I should not be going in the direction that I am currently headed in". My first impulse is to get the hell out of dodge.... stat! I got involved in the edge of a tornado near Hillsboro, TX about 12 years ago while driving down I-35 in a blinding rainstorm and let me tell you... sheer terror!! The problem was that it was so dark outside we could not see it coming at us. I was lucky to have come out of it alive. My mom was driving us back to San Antonio from a horse show and I was sitting in the passenger seat holding my little dog. We were out in the middle of nowhere and it was dark and raining so hard that you could not see five feet in front of you. Luckily we were going pretty slow at the time because all of the sudden, the car came to a complete stop (sending my little dog into the dashboard of the car) and the tornado spun us around several times and pushed us over to the edge of the interstate. The sounds from the wind were deafening and debris/hail was pounding the car but oddly it was all over in a flash. Luckily nobody was hurt (including the dog) and we were able to get turned around and back on the road. As we went further down I-35, you could see the path that the tornado had taken. There was destruction everywhere...twisted light posts, bent highway signs, snapped trees. Not something I would like to experience again.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Thank You God, Family, Friends, and Myself.......

for not letting me ever take up smoking, drinking (in excess ;), or recreational drugs of any kind. I mean this from the bottom of my heart. Volunteer work can sometimes show you a side of human life that is not pretty and it is amazing how much hardship in life is connected to addictive vices that are difficult to give up once they catch ahold of you. So sad................ And now on to our regularly scheduled program......

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Hopefully it ends after three strikes....

My week so far.....
1. My lawn mower blew up------- $300 Ka-ching!!!

2. I hit a water pipe with my golf cart... water everywhere---- Ka-ching!!! $30 in parts and a big pain in the ass. Actually, having to hear about my hitting the water pipe over and over and over from "others" was the most annoying part.

3. Driving down the road minding my own business when a brick (Yes, a brick!!!) falls off of a landscaping trailer several cars ahead of me, hits the hood of the Lexus in the next lane over, and then whacks my front headlight (a total loss), and then moves on to the car behind me. It took all of my strength to remain calm and not have a big hissy fit/total meltdown.------ $425 in repairs. Ka-ching! Ka-ching!

I just KNOW it has to get better!!!!!!

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Simon, Matthias, Anastasia, Augustine, Joseph, Christine, Victoria....

It is always touching when somebody goes way, way, out of their way to do something nice for you. One of my friends took it upon herself to start looking up some of my relatives on I told her that she did not have to do it but apparently she is really into genealogy and is just generally a nice person so she just did it out of the kindness of her heart. Wow!!!! I knew the last two generations on my mother's side pretty well but I had no idea of who was who before that. She was able to find stuff 6-7 generations back. Names of people I never knew existed. It is just amazing how much information people have been able to link together to help solve the mysteries of our past. I can see know why people really get into this kind of research. I would really like to find out more information on my father's side of the family. There was a lot of crazy drama and scandal there that I would like to know more about. I think it may be time to get my own membership and do some research on my own.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

How can this be????

I just now realized that I have tomorrow off from work!!!!!!! How could I not have realized this sooner???????? I am losing my mind for sure. 3 whole days to myself to do whatever I want. You just don't know how happy this makes me. :)

Saturday, March 27, 2010

You think you know someone.....

until you log onto and check out a person's wish list. If you were to enter my name into the wish list search, you would get the impression that I have issues with baking (cupcakes!!!!), pink (the color, not the singer), babies (gifts for friends, I swear!!!), sex (no comment), make-up, and chick lit in general. How embarrassing!!!

Friday, March 26, 2010

Hot Tub Time Machine

Don't even try to figure out the why of it....... just relax and enjoy it. Get yourself over to your local Alamo Drafthouse, select a nice cool, frosty beverage and some snacks and prepare to laugh your ass off. Who doesn't want to relive 1986???? I have not laughed so hard in a long time. Ahhh, the memories of the 80's and besides......who does not love John Cusack?

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Good Girls Don't

I was in Macy's trying on some jeans yesterday when I noticed that there was something heavy in one of the pockets. I cautiously peeked inside an pulled out a damaged sensor tag and over 20 price tags and labels. All together I was looking at the price tags of almost a $1,000 of merchandise. Having worked in retail I also knew that I was looking at the remnants of almost $1,000 of STOLEN merchandise. This kind of crap just floors me. The nerve of the person that did this!!!! First of all, nothing like this is worth going to jail over. Nobody needs a pair of Calvin Klein jeans that badly. Second of all, didn't their parents teach them right from wrong? Probably not. I am no perfect angel but I can honestly say that I have never actually stolen anything in my life... well, there are two exceptions...... but they don't really count... at least I tell myself that. When I was 6 years old I stole a Weeble from a Sears. Yes, you read that right. A Weeble. You don't know what a Weeble is? Here, let me refresh your memory. Weebles!!! Ha! I stole a Weeble!!! It was out of the package and just sitting there on the floor near the power tools so I just took it upon myself to liberate it and give it a good home. I remember my mom asking me what I had in my hand and of course my 6 year old answer was "Nothing!!" When she found out what it was she made me take it all the way back to where I found it and then I had to apologize to the salesman for taking it. This whole incident set me on the straight and narrow until I was in high school and I stole a chocolate Swatch. Yep, a chocolate Swatch. As in a Swatch Watch. I worked at the Swatch counter at Foley's when I was 16 and I thought I was too cool. Swatches were the major thing back in the late 80's and if you wanted to buy one from Foley's in San Antonio back in 1986, you had to buy it from me since I of course was a certified Swatch expert.. They were having some kind of promotion where you got a chocolate Swatch as a gift with purchase and we had boxes and boxes of them. I had a supervisor that I was totally in love with and in the middle of some intense flirting in the stockroom told me I could have one. How could I say no?? That was some really good chocolate!!! A few more may have disappeared into our stomachs as the weeks went on and finally we got a memo from some head honcho that said if anybody caught giving away the chocolate swatches without a purchase or eating one without buying a Swatch would be written up. That was the end of my life of crime.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Things that make you happy...

For me it is............sunshine, birds tweeting in the trees, warm skin, a good hair day, your dog's undying devotion, friends that are there for you whenever or wherever, old photographs, a great book, baby lizards, cute kids, finding the last cold bottle of whatever in the fridge, flowers, clean sheets, new socks, pasta, good coffee, snail mail, floating in a tube on a lazy river, the Sunday New York Times, sincerity, the sound of the ocean, a good kiss, my DVR, sleeping in with someone you love right beside you, freshly painted toes, grosgrain ribbon, the smell of autumn in the air, people watching, toast, a long Sunday drive with no particular destination, picnics, new car smell, a sexy dance partner, a good shoulder rub, an ice cold cherry limeade with crushed ice and a big fat straw, dragonflies hovering in the evening air, 8o's hair bands, planning a vacation, laughing so hard you cry, an intense hug, being able to really help somebody out, private jokes only your friends understand, a fresh box of crayons, a good workout, a man's arms, lip gloss, coca cola in a little glass bottle, swimming pools, camping, road trips, freedom, a clean house, a new magazine, Popsicles, farmer's markets, thunderstorms at night, love letters, homemade chocolate chip cookies, the smell of new snow, success, a long hot bath, flea markets, hot chocolate with extra extra whipped cream and sprinkles, good champagne, flirting, and a good night's sleep.

"I'm Just One Stomach Flu Away From My Goal Weight."

Remember that line from The Devil Wears Prada? Well, I have now lived it. Actually, I think it was food poisoning not the stomach flu.....but the end result is that I lost 6 pounds during Spring Break. Besides being near death for three days, the rest of my little vacation was good. The weather was fantastic up until Saturday so I had fun working in the yard and running around town doing random things and visiting with friends that I have not seen in awhile. Saturday it turned cold and rainy with some wind shears that rivaled any hurricane that we have been through in the last few years. At one point I saw the BBQ grill move about 6 feet across the patio which is pretty major because that sucker is heavy! I never made it to San Antonio although I have hopes of getting there within the next week or two. Now it is back to work although I am still a little tired. Why is it that you always need a few days to recover from a vacation???

Friday, March 12, 2010

Need I say more?????????

Spring Break commences promptly at 3:00pm today and I will be free and headed towards supreme relaxation. You just don't know how happy this makes me! No alarm clocks, no ironing clothes to wear to work, no making brown bag lunches. Yipppeeeeeeee! I have decided to head to San Antonio for a few days so at least I can say that I did actually get to go out of town. Have a good one!! I know I will.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Where are the men in white coats when you need them???

My.Bangs.Are.Driving.Me.Crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am just not cut out for the side swept bang. Why did I do it? Why???!!!??? Even with a ton of hairspray and liberal use of the flat iron, they are seriously pissing me off! Have you ever watched a person that has side swept bangs... especially teenagers? They all have developed a type of twitch from constantly shaking the damn bangs out of their eyes. My neck hurts and I even have a headache from all the tension in my neck and shoulders. The weird part is that it actually looks pretty darn good. I would almost dare to say that it looks pretty fantastic...... but I just can't stand the way it keeps sliding down over my left eye. Gah!!!!! I am going to have to get some more industrial hairspray because the stuff I have just is not cutting it.

Honestly, I am one step away from putting it all in a dorky ponytail on top of my head like the one the neighbors use on their little dog. See how happy the little dog looks? That is because it can see and does not have a stiff neck from all the hair flipping!!! This may become my new weekend look (minus the bow).....when I am home alone at least.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Oh No She Didn't!!!!

Yes, actually I did! After making a promise to myself 15 or some odd years ago that I would never do it again... I went and cut me some bangs. At least they are of the subtle side swept variety and not a heavy fringe or anything. I am pretty happy with the way they look but I am coming to terms with the fact that I will now have a date every morning with my Chi to straighten out the annoying wave. Oh well, I will probably hate them once the humidity of summer starts and I end up with a poodle head. At least next week is Spring Break!!! One whole week of being a bum and doing whatever. I would love to go somewhere and see something new but everybody else has to work. I thought about going to visit a friend in San Diego but there is actually a lot of stuff I need to catch up on around here. Nobody had better wake me up with 6am phone calls..... and if you think I am talking about you... then you are probably right!!!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

My day....

1. Some time around 4am the heat came on and I woke up feeling like I was going to burst into flames. I could not get the covers off of me fast enough. My ideal sleeping environment is a super cold room with lots and lots of blankets and quilts. It was so damn hot in the room that all three of the little dogs came scrambling out of the covers panting. Unfortunately the little dogs are like children... you don't want to wake them up or else they will want to go outside and play and they will pester you until you get up. I finally gave in and let them out and then I had to stand there and wait for them to do their business. There is always one dog that has to wander around outside for 2o minutes so it was close to 4:30 before I got back into bed (after having turned off the heat.)
2. I woke up about 25 minutes late. My radio had gone off but I was so tired that I just did not hear it. I woke up in one of those severe sleep fogs where you can't remember where you are and you lay there for a few minutes trying to remember what day it is and if you have to go to work.
3. I burned my waffles.
4. I had put some black flip flops on to drive to work in with every intention of changing into more suitable, "work-like" shoes once I got there. Of course I left my work shoes at home and felt like everybody was staring at my feet all day wondering why I was dressed so oddly..... need I say more.
5. Around lunch time, the campus police came running by my office. I later found out they were looking for a "suspicious person" who was hiding in the building. Great!!!!!! Sometimes it is better to not know what is going on.
6. I missed my exit on the way home and had to drive 5 miles down the road to get to the next turn-around. Sucks!!!
7. Some redneck asshole gave me the finger for not going fast enough for his liking. Apparently he thought I should go at least 65 through a known speed trap with a 40 mile an hour speed limit. Screw you mister!!!! Where are these people coming from??????????????
Good night!! Tomorrow WILL be a better day!!!!!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

6 Penlite Batteries Not Included

On the drive into work this morning, the topic on Martha Stewart Living Radio was all about games. Games that you loved as a kid, games that you play with your kids, social games for parties, etc. It got me to thinking about all of the games that I loved playing when I was growing up. I really wish I still had some of those games.

These were my favorites----

Candy land- I wanted to live there!!!

Chutes & Ladders-I thought it was funny to make people have to start over.

Hi-Ho- Cheery-O - I was fascinated by all the little cherries.

Ants In Your Pants- Only the truly talented could get those suckers to fly all the way across the room

Don't Spill The Beans- I wanted this game so badly but my mom would never buy it for me. She said it was dumb so I had to be content with playing it at my friend's house.

Cootie- I loved their tongues!!

UNO- Still one of my favorites

Merlin- Electronics!!! Man we thought those pulsing dots were cool. We thought we were so high tech

Simon- See above description. I had both the full size and pocket sized editions.

Electronic Battleship- I can still remember the noises these games made. "You sunk my battleship!!"

Trouble/Headache- Almost the same game. I was fascinated by the dice popper.

Life- Another game my mom would not buy me

Sorry- My most favoritest (is this a word???) game ever? Anybody want to play????

Friday, February 26, 2010

Why do I fall for it every time????

I know I should walk away but pride gets in the way and you keep on trying to knock some sense into the idiot that thinks they know everything. I have no problem admitting when I am wrong.... but when you are 110% sure you are right and you have the facts to back it up, it is just so hard to shut up and leave it alone. Why do I put myself through the stress and most importantly... why do I value the opinion of an imbecile?????? Serenity now! Serenity now!! repeat, repeat, repeat. Thank God it is Friday!!!!

Friday, February 12, 2010

Have a good one!!!

Valentine's Day that is!!! You either love it or you hate it. I love it!!!! Yeah, I know it is super commercialized and all that... but it is still a great time to take a step back and acknowledge all the special people in your life. Nix the candy hearts and cheesy traditional Valentine's type of gifts (everybody who knows me is aware of the fact that I will get violent if they ever give me a stuffed animal as a gift... unless it is a Steiff bear which is a whole other story!!!) So on Sunday..... bake your sweetie a wonderful breakfast, take them out to lunch, or even write them a touching poem. Make a card...don't buy one. On Valentine's day, it really is about the thought and not just buying some meaningless gift.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Rain, Rain, Go Away (at least for a little while!!)

I know, I know... you should never take rain for granted here in Texas...... but I really need a break. We have had so much rain here in the last few months that the ground is completely saturated and it is not sinking into the dirt/grass. Some of the standing water is even growing green slime. Actually, the bricks on our house and the sidewalks are turning kind of green too! To top it off, it is cold.... 39 degrees or so. It was 72 degrees just 2 or three days ago..... no wonder everybody around here is sick. To change things up I had been walking/jogging around the three acres on the side of the house instead of chugging along on the treadmill and now I am stuck inside because of all the standing water. I am really getting into this outdoor is amazing how fast the time goes by. When I am on the treadmill I feel like I am looking at the clock at least every five minutes or so. Last night I was dreading the treadmill so much that I jogged in place in front of " The Millionaire Matchmaker" which just about killed me. I am really feeling it today and I am d-r-a-g-g-in-g. Why is jogging in place so much harder than doing it outside or on a treadmill? Not much else to say... this rain has me in a funk...... oh, by the way.... it was a damn red wasp that bit me in my bed the other day!!! No wonder it hurt so bad!!!! I took great pleasure in squashing the little sucker when I found it buzzing around my room a couple of days later.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

In a Benadryl induced haze.

Last night, I somehow was in bed by 9:30. I had just turned off the TV and was getting all snugly underneath the warm, cozy covers when holy hell!!!, mother of all sonofabitches!!!!... something stung/bit the hell out of my arm, about 3 inches down from my armpit.
I flew out of bed, turned on the light, and found a bright red mark on my skin that was burning like fire. It felt almost as bad as a wasp sting. Within about 2 minutes it was swelling so I went into the bathroom, popped an Benadryl and washed my arm with soapy water and put some Polysporin on the red spot.
I looked all around my bed expecting so see some form of bug life but there was nothing there so I ripped the covers off of my bed, exposing 3 sleepy chihuahuas who looked at me like "What in the hell do you think you are doing waking us up like this?" I shook out all of the covers, looked under all of the pillows, and checked the floor around the bed and I still did not see anything. Nada! I would have been happy to actually have found something so that I could have squashed it flat and then I would have known it was gone. Now I am stuck with a mystery pest in the room that may or may be lying in wait to sting me again.
Today my arm is itchy and swollen. Not good...... sigh. When I was living in San Antonio, I knew better then to ever get into bed without doing a thorough inspection of the sheets because of scorpions. Bed checks, towel checks, and shoe checks are just a way of life there. I am so tired from all the Benadryl that all I want to do is go curl up in bed but I can't even do that now because of the fear of where the spider? ant? mystery bug? might be. First thing I am going to do when I get home is wash all the sheets and vacuum really well around the bed. I want my warm, cozy bed back!!!!

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Mushroom Chicken

Fantastic recipe!!!! Too bad that I don't have a photo to share..... we ate it too quickly and besides, this is not a cooking blog so you will just have to take my word for it that it is super yummy and easy to make. I will warn you that it is not a low fat recipe, so save it for special occasions or if you are having guests. You could substitute the cream cheese and cream of chicken soup for the healthier, lower fat versions if you wish.

Mushroom Chicken

4 chicken breasts, boneless and skinless

1 packet of Good Seasons Italian dressing mix

3/4 cup of water

1- 8 oz box of cream cheese, softened

1- can of condensed cream of chicken soup

1- small package of fresh mushrooms, sliced

Mix the packet of Italian dressing mix and the water in the bottom of a crock pot. Place the chicken breasts in the crock pot and flip them over a couple of times in the seasoning mixture so that the chicken is coated on all sides with seasoning. Cook on low for 3 hours. Check it every now and then to make sure that the liquid has not evaporated too much. You can add a little more water if needed. About 2 hours into the cooking process, take the cream cheese out of the refrigerator so that it will have about an hour or so to soften. After the chicken has cooked for three hours, combine the softened cream cheese and the soup in a small bowl. You can use a hand mixer or a wire whisk. After the cream cheese and soup are well blended, stir in the sliced mushrooms. Spoon the soup/cream cheese mixture over the chicken breasts and cook for one more hour. I usually take a spoon and stir the soup/cream cheese/mushroom mixture after it has been in the crock pot about 20 minutes just to mix things up a little bit and to get the mushrooms down into the pan a little better. Serve with rice or potatoes and enjoy! Yum!!!!!!

Sunday, January 17, 2010

His mom must like meat.

I had a student walk into my office yesterday who requested a copy of his test scores. I told him that it was not a problem, but that I would need to see some form of ID before I could release them to him. He pulls out his wallet so that I could check his driver's license but the plastic cover on it was causing such a glare that I had a hard time getting the spelling of his name right. I got his last name entered into the computer so then I asked him to spell his first name.....He goes C-H-A-T-E-A-U-B-R-I-A..... I knew what letters would be coming next so I interrupted him and said "You are joking with me, right?" He was not. His first name really was Chateaubriand!!!! I felt bad for questioning him about his name but come on.... who names their kid after meat????? Does he have a brother named pork chop???

Tuesday, January 5, 2010


You know it is cold outside when you leave a Taco Bell cup with coke in it in your car overnight and the next morning it is frozen solid. This kind of stuff is not normal for Houston. It is cold!!!!!

Friday, January 1, 2010

Happy New Year!!!

Hopefully 2010 is going to be spectacular!!!!

Goals for 2010
1. Save more money, buy less crap that I don't need.
2. Try to be less wasteful and be a little more green.
3. Get myself into the gym a little more often. I feel like a slug!!!