You think you know someone.....

until you log onto Amazon.com and check out a person's wish list. If you were to enter my name into the wish list search, you would get the impression that I have issues with baking (cupcakes!!!!), pink (the color, not the singer), babies (gifts for friends, I swear!!!), sex (no comment), make-up, and chick lit in general. How embarrassing!!!

Hot Tub Time Machine

Don't even try to figure out the why of it....... just relax and enjoy it. Get yourself over to your local Alamo Drafthouse, select a nice cool, frosty beverage and some snacks and prepare to laugh your ass off. Who doesn't want to relive 1986???? I have not laughed so hard in a long time. Ahhh, the memories of the 80's and besides......who does not love John Cusack?

Good Girls Don't

I was in Macy's trying on some jeans yesterday when I noticed that there was something heavy in one of the pockets. I cautiously peeked inside an pulled out a damaged sensor tag and over 20 price tags and labels. All together I was looking at the price tags of almost a $1,000 of merchandise. Having worked in retail I also knew that I was looking at the remnants of almost $1,000 of STOLEN merchandise. This kind of crap just floors me. The nerve of the person that did this!!!! First of all, nothing like this is worth going to jail over. Nobody needs a pair of Calvin Klein jeans that badly. Second of all, didn't their parents teach them right from wrong? Probably not. I am no perfect angel but I can honestly say that I have never actually stolen anything in my life... well, there are two exceptions...... but they don't really count... at least I tell myself that. When I was 6 years old I stole a Weeble from a Sears. Yes, you read that right. A Weeble. You don't know what a Weeble is? Here, let me refresh your memory. Weebles!!! Ha! I stole a Weeble!!! It was out of the package and just sitting there on the floor near the power tools so I just took it upon myself to liberate it and give it a good home. I remember my mom asking me what I had in my hand and of course my 6 year old answer was "Nothing!!" When she found out what it was she made me take it all the way back to where I found it and then I had to apologize to the salesman for taking it. This whole incident set me on the straight and narrow until I was in high school and I stole a chocolate Swatch. Yep, a chocolate Swatch. As in a Swatch Watch. I worked at the Swatch counter at Foley's when I was 16 and I thought I was too cool. Swatches were the major thing back in the late 80's and if you wanted to buy one from Foley's in San Antonio back in 1986, you had to buy it from me since I of course was a certified Swatch expert.. They were having some kind of promotion where you got a chocolate Swatch as a gift with purchase and we had boxes and boxes of them. I had a supervisor that I was totally in love with and in the middle of some intense flirting in the stockroom told me I could have one. How could I say no?? That was some really good chocolate!!! A few more may have disappeared into our stomachs as the weeks went on and finally we got a memo from some head honcho that said if anybody caught giving away the chocolate swatches without a purchase or eating one without buying a Swatch would be written up. That was the end of my life of crime.

Things that make you happy...

For me it is............sunshine, birds tweeting in the trees, warm skin, a good hair day, your dog's undying devotion, friends that are there for you whenever or wherever, old photographs, a great book, baby lizards, cute kids, finding the last cold bottle of whatever in the fridge, flowers, clean sheets, new socks, pasta, good coffee, snail mail, floating in a tube on a lazy river, the Sunday New York Times, sincerity, the sound of the ocean, a good kiss, my DVR, sleeping in with someone you love right beside you, freshly painted toes, grosgrain ribbon, the smell of autumn in the air, people watching, toast, a long Sunday drive with no particular destination, picnics, new car smell, a sexy dance partner, a good shoulder rub, an ice cold cherry limeade with crushed ice and a big fat straw, dragonflies hovering in the evening air, 8o's hair bands, planning a vacation, laughing so hard you cry, an intense hug, being able to really help somebody out, private jokes only your friends understand, a fresh box of crayons, a good workout, a man's arms, lip gloss, coca cola in a little glass bottle, swimming pools, camping, road trips, freedom, a clean house, a new magazine, Popsicles, farmer's markets, thunderstorms at night, love letters, homemade chocolate chip cookies, the smell of new snow, success, a long hot bath, flea markets, hot chocolate with extra extra whipped cream and sprinkles, good champagne, flirting, and a good night's sleep.

"I'm Just One Stomach Flu Away From My Goal Weight."

Remember that line from The Devil Wears Prada? Well, I have now lived it. Actually, I think it was food poisoning not the stomach flu.....but the end result is that I lost 6 pounds during Spring Break. Besides being near death for three days, the rest of my little vacation was good. The weather was fantastic up until Saturday so I had fun working in the yard and running around town doing random things and visiting with friends that I have not seen in awhile. Saturday it turned cold and rainy with some wind shears that rivaled any hurricane that we have been through in the last few years. At one point I saw the BBQ grill move about 6 feet across the patio which is pretty major because that sucker is heavy! I never made it to San Antonio although I have hopes of getting there within the next week or two. Now it is back to work although I am still a little tired. Why is it that you always need a few days to recover from a vacation???

Need I say more?????????

Spring Break commences promptly at 3:00pm today and I will be free and headed towards supreme relaxation. You just don't know how happy this makes me! No alarm clocks, no ironing clothes to wear to work, no making brown bag lunches. Yipppeeeeeeee! I have decided to head to San Antonio for a few days so at least I can say that I did actually get to go out of town. Have a good one!! I know I will.

Where are the men in white coats when you need them???

My.Bangs.Are.Driving.Me.Crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am just not cut out for the side swept bang. Why did I do it? Why???!!!??? Even with a ton of hairspray and liberal use of the flat iron, they are seriously pissing me off! Have you ever watched a person that has side swept bangs... especially teenagers? They all have developed a type of twitch from constantly shaking the damn bangs out of their eyes. My neck hurts and I even have a headache from all the tension in my neck and shoulders. The weird part is that it actually looks pretty darn good. I would almost dare to say that it looks pretty fantastic...... but I just can't stand the way it keeps sliding down over my left eye. Gah!!!!! I am going to have to get some more industrial hairspray because the stuff I have just is not cutting it.

Honestly, I am one step away from putting it all in a dorky ponytail on top of my head like the one the neighbors use on their little dog. See how happy the little dog looks? That is because it can see and does not have a stiff neck from all the hair flipping!!! This may become my new weekend look (minus the bow).....when I am home alone at least.

Oh No She Didn't!!!!

Yes, actually I did! After making a promise to myself 15 or some odd years ago that I would never do it again... I went and cut me some bangs. At least they are of the subtle side swept variety and not a heavy fringe or anything. I am pretty happy with the way they look but I am coming to terms with the fact that I will now have a date every morning with my Chi to straighten out the annoying wave. Oh well, I will probably hate them once the humidity of summer starts and I end up with a poodle head. At least next week is Spring Break!!! One whole week of being a bum and doing whatever. I would love to go somewhere and see something new but everybody else has to work. I thought about going to visit a friend in San Diego but there is actually a lot of stuff I need to catch up on around here. Nobody had better wake me up with 6am phone calls..... and if you think I am talking about you... then you are probably right!!!

My day....

1. Some time around 4am the heat came on and I woke up feeling like I was going to burst into flames. I could not get the covers off of me fast enough. My ideal sleeping environment is a super cold room with lots and lots of blankets and quilts. It was so damn hot in the room that all three of the little dogs came scrambling out of the covers panting. Unfortunately the little dogs are like children... you don't want to wake them up or else they will want to go outside and play and they will pester you until you get up. I finally gave in and let them out and then I had to stand there and wait for them to do their business. There is always one dog that has to wander around outside for 2o minutes so it was close to 4:30 before I got back into bed (after having turned off the heat.)
2. I woke up about 25 minutes late. My radio had gone off but I was so tired that I just did not hear it. I woke up in one of those severe sleep fogs where you can't remember where you are and you lay there for a few minutes trying to remember what day it is and if you have to go to work.
3. I burned my waffles.
4. I had put some black flip flops on to drive to work in with every intention of changing into more suitable, "work-like" shoes once I got there. Of course I left my work shoes at home and felt like everybody was staring at my feet all day wondering why I was dressed so oddly..... need I say more.
5. Around lunch time, the campus police came running by my office. I later found out they were looking for a "suspicious person" who was hiding in the building. Great!!!!!! Sometimes it is better to not know what is going on.
6. I missed my exit on the way home and had to drive 5 miles down the road to get to the next turn-around. Sucks!!!
7. Some redneck asshole gave me the finger for not going fast enough for his liking. Apparently he thought I should go at least 65 through a known speed trap with a 40 mile an hour speed limit. Screw you mister!!!! Where are these people coming from??????????????
Good night!! Tomorrow WILL be a better day!!!!!

6 Penlite Batteries Not Included

On the drive into work this morning, the topic on Martha Stewart Living Radio was all about games. Games that you loved as a kid, games that you play with your kids, social games for parties, etc. It got me to thinking about all of the games that I loved playing when I was growing up. I really wish I still had some of those games.

These were my favorites----

Candy land- I wanted to live there!!!

Chutes & Ladders-I thought it was funny to make people have to start over.

Hi-Ho- Cheery-O - I was fascinated by all the little cherries.

Ants In Your Pants- Only the truly talented could get those suckers to fly all the way across the room

Don't Spill The Beans- I wanted this game so badly but my mom would never buy it for me. She said it was dumb so I had to be content with playing it at my friend's house.

Cootie- I loved their tongues!!

UNO- Still one of my favorites

Merlin- Electronics!!! Man we thought those pulsing dots were cool. We thought we were so high tech

Simon- See above description. I had both the full size and pocket sized editions.

Electronic Battleship- I can still remember the noises these games made. "You sunk my battleship!!"

Trouble/Headache- Almost the same game. I was fascinated by the dice popper.

Life- Another game my mom would not buy me

Sorry- My most favoritest (is this a word???) game ever? Anybody want to play????