Friday, September 11, 2009

Gullible people wanted

I found this in my junk mail... seems like I get more of this garbage every day. Just for the hell of it, I decided to see what it said. Funny... sad... or disgusting, you decide.

Hello Good Day!

I am Mrs. Lorita Candy (they use the word candy to lure you in like a predator) from Botswana. I am married to Mr. John Candy who worked with (the) Botswana embassy in Leshoto for nine years before he died (if he is dead, then you are a widower, not married). We were married for eighteen years with a child (What? You were married to a child?) . My Husband died after a brief illness that lasted for only four day (days not day).

Since his death I decided not to re-marry or get another child outside my matrimonial home (WTF?). When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of $8, 865 000. 00 Million Dollars (Eight million Eight hundred and sixty five thousand U.S. Dollars) (They have to spell it out for you in case you are stupid) in a bank in Abidjan the Economical capital of Ivory Coast. The money was deposited for foreign partner no name was mentioned. (Incredible!!!)

Recently, my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next three months due to cancer Problem (They capitalize problem?). Though what disturbs me most is the stoke ( OK, cancer and stroke are not funny in any way... but this part cracks me up a little), Having known my condition I decided to donate part of this fund to (a) motherless babies (poor motherless babies) home or better still a God (Lets not go dragging God into this, you will really rot in hell now!!) fearing individual that will utilize this money to the glory of God (again! 2 strikes!!) and to take care of my only child for(a) better future.

I took this decision because my only child is still young (legally an adult) and can not manage this fund very well and my husband relatives are not happy with my husband's wealth when he was alive and through my prayers and the directions of God (3 strikes!! God is now telling this person to do this), I have found out that their hands is in my husband's death and I don't want my husband's hard earned money to be misused by evil men (longest and most confusing sentence ever!! This is like a soap opera!!). I don't want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly manner, hence the reason for taking this bold (yes, you are very brave to try to get poor unsuspecting people involved in this!!) decision.

As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the BANK here in IVORY COAST where my husband deposited the money.

Please understand that any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing for another person for this same purpose.
Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated herein and you will take care of my only child (you want someone to take care of your adult child as well? Hell no!!!).

Hoping to hear from you soon (fat chance!)

Yours Sincerely,
Mrs. Lorita Candy