Sunday, April 27, 2008

All he needed was some Slim Jims and some Corn Nuts. 4/365

I have decided to do the daily blog topic suggestion to get going for today's post since I am sleepy and am out of ideas. Today's topic is "What is on your nightstand?"...... here it is folks.... my nightstand..... don't pass out from all the excitement now. :)

I stopped by Target last night to pick up some shampoo since I was running low and as we all know, no trip to Target is ever complete without some strange incident. This particular Target has about 30 registers and there are never more than 3 open at a time. So here I am standing there with my hands full of shampoo, conditioner, gum, some scotch tape, and a birthday card that I have got to remember to mail on Monday, waiting in the line from hell. The guy standing behind me kept getting closer and closer until I could actually feel him breathing on me. I kind of half turned around to give a "back off buddy" look and I realized quickly that this was a huge mistake because he took it as a sign that I wanted to start up some kind of conversation with him. He was probably in his 30's or early 40's and he looked and smelled (beer & sweat) like he had just crawled in off the back 40. He had the entire look going for him....stained wifebeater that may have been white at one point, tight wranglers with the dip can outline on the pocket, multiple tattoos, sweat stained baseball cap, and you know what is coming up next...... a 94 pack of beer...the cheap stuff.
Actual conversation: Him- "Looks like you got you some fancy shampoo there."
Him-"You have a lot of hair. Is that why ya got two bottles?"
Me- "Um no, this is conditioner."
Him-"I would never let my wife buy fancy stuff fer her hair. I jist buy the cheap stuff for the wife and kids. Never spend more than 99 cents a bottle. That's all she is gonna git."
Me- "Must suck to be your wife then." Ok, so I really did not say that. I did mention something about forgetting an item on my list and then trying to get around him.
Him- "You want me to hold your stuff while you go get it?"
Me-"Um.. (hell!) No!!! But thanks for offering! (scurries away quickly.....)

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