Last Thursday I finally got around to trimming the ends of my hair. After I was done, I somehow got the bright idea to deep condition my hair hair as well. I had nothing else better to do so I grabbed what I thought was the container of hair masque off of the shelf and started slathering it all over my head. I quickly realized that I had grabbed the wrong tub and had applied (half a tub!!!) of a heavy duty olive oil treatment ( Warning!!! Do not apply to wet hair...oops!, use sparingly on the tips of hair only... double oops!) to my hair instead. At this point I figured that the damage was already done so I applied a little more just to finish the job (more is always better right?), put on a plastic shower cap, and wrapped my whole head in a towel. I then crashed on my bed and decided to watch a little TV while I waited for it to soak in figuring I would rinse it out in about 20-30 minutes.
I woke up about three hours later in one of those "where am I?" type of semi-conscious states and I quickly realized that the towel was sliding off my head and that something greasy was dripping down my neck. I jumped in the shower (after staggering around the room for a minute...still half asleep) and applied shampoo to my head hoping to get the stuff off quickly when I realized that something was VERY wrong. My hair was so greasy that the shampoo would not even lather. Crap!!!!!! I ended up washing my hair 7 times and the oil was not budging off my head. My hair felt like it weighed a ton and it was just kinda hanging there like limp seaweed. After the initial moment of panic that I might have really fucked up my hair, I calmed down and tried to think of what I could use to cut the grease since the shampoo was not doing the trick. I finally decided to try some dish soap....... hey, if it works on greasy pots, why not the oil slick on my head?
Lets just say that the dish soap did not help my grease problem but it did strip all the natural oils out of my hair and I was left with what felt like greasy straw for hair. Great! Now my hair is totally screwed!!!! I jumped back in the shower and tried some more shampoo and even some conditioner because the steel wool texture of my hair was really beginning to scare me. I finally admitted defeat and decided that hopefully a couple more washings in the morning shower before work would help. Since I never go to bed with wet hair, having been threatened by my grandmother many years ago over the horrible things (Pneumonia, sore throat, death) that could strike me down if I did..... I decided that I had better dry my hair before getting into bed. Second lesson learned of the evening..... you can't "dry" oily hair. I finally gave up and went to bed with semi-moist, clumpy, oily, dreadlocks.
The next morning I tried washing my hair again..... about 7 more times. The oiliness had subsided just a little bit.... at least I was able to get some lather going.... but the texture was still strange and it still kind of hung there in clumps. My hair looked like total crap but hey, at least it was clean! I did manage to get it mostly dry, but I looked so bad that I was actually considering calling into work. No way was I going anywhere looking like that! I finally realized that I could not miss work for something so stupid so I managed to get it into a weird version of an updo that still looked horrendous but better than it had.
After slinking around work all day, trying to avoid human contact, I did some research online and decided that apple cider vinegar should be my next course of action. As soon as I got home, I jumped in the shower and tried rinsing my hair with a diluted vinegar mixture. God the stuff stunk!!! At one point I got it in my eyes and holy hell did that stuff burn! Great... now I was going to have hideous hair and be blind! The vinegar was working somewhat so I just decided to dump the remainder of the pure vinegar on my hair and hope for the best.
After drying my hair for what seemed like an eternity, my hair was almost 75% oil free. The top and sides were not too bad but the back was still dreadfully greasy. The worst part was the smell. I smelled like an Easter egg! Gross!!! By Monday, most of the oil was gone and my hair had returned to a semi-normal state...except for the smell. The best way that I could describe it was a soured mop. Not what you want your hair to smell like but at least it looked OK.
It has now been exactly a week since the incident and the smell is gone. Here is the crazy part....... my hair looks super terrific!!!! It is bouncy, shiny, soft, frizz-free, and looks totally healthy. I guess the olive oil stuff worked after all...... but hell no am I going through all that crap again! Ever!!!!!!